Fushigi

And other randoms...

The girls get $1.00 a week for doing chores. We hadn't paid them for a few weeks, so RJ gave Abbey a 5 dollar bill and Jo 2 dollars {she doesn't do her chores as much as Abbey does}. They ran and got their piggy banks and counted their money {a favorite past time}. Abbey had $9.00 and Jo had $19.00 {she's my saver, money doesn't thrill her like it does Abbey. She's our spender}. JoJo has been wanting to save her money for these ridiculously expensive twin baby dolls from Pottery Barn {Max and Meridith} She is in LOVE. BUT when Abbey sees that JoJo has $19.00 she precedes to convince her that she should order Fushigi! "It's $19.99 you have just enough!" Makayla then comes to tell me she wants to do that, when I remind her she was saving for Max and Meridith. "Yes, that's what I really want." Then Abbey says, "Fine! Then I'll save up for Fushigi and you can't play with it!"

She's not my most logical child. Or my best sharer.

RSV is kicking my butt. Poor Harvey has been so sick. He has amazed me once again with his sweetness, though. He whines a little after he coughs {which you can tell hurts him} but he has just been so sweet through all of this. He is sleeping probably 20 hours a day! He is so tired, he just falls asleep wherever he is. Yesterday, he fell asleep in Makayla's arms {and we all know that isn't from being super comfortable} We had a scare Saturday, when we realized he hadn't peed all day. He had thrown up everything he had eaten {from coughing/gagging so hard} and we were nervous about dehydration. I called the doctor. They suggested I go to the Bronchiolitis clinic and have him evaluated. We went and he didn't have a lot of mucus, which is another sign that he may be a little dehydrated. After getting suctioned he has only thrown up twice {in two days} He's kept most food down, has been peeing much more {even pooped too} and I took him in last night to get suctioned and the RT said it was thin and runny {a good sign he is hydrated}. So, I dared say we were on the downhill slide. But last night was probably the worst one yet. He started gagging so bad at about 2:00AM that he wasn't breathing for a few seconds {probably 10, felt like 10 minutes} I screamed for RJ because I was so panicked, but he started coughing and was fine. I rocked him and he quickly fell asleep in my arms. He woke again at 5:00 AM coughing pretty hard. I fed him a little and rocked him and he went back to sleep until about 9 this morning. I sure hope we get over this quick because it is NO FUN!

Of course, we have also been having issues with our Health insurance. We've been on COBRA for the past while, and it was great insurance. It got us through Harvey's delivery and all of that expense. Then all of a sudden we get a termination letter, and bills from our pediatrician stating that we weren't covered and the insurance took payment back. This is a mistake, and it will get fixed and IHC said they will go back and pay back everything we were covered for, but it's taking FOREVER and every time I go into the doctor's office they ask me if I want to pay my balance {which is like $800.00} and I have to explain the whole situation to the {Same} receptionist every time. {Can't we put a flag in my chart or something???} ahhhh...it's the worst! But now, since the company that we were getting COBRA through is no longer in existence and the assets of the company have been frozen, as of February 1st we no longer have health insurance. So, I've been meaning to get with our insurance guy and get going on some health insurance {but of course hadn't gotten around to it...} and BAM, RSV...so this month will surely have some hefty medical bills as well.

Abbey has also been kicking my butt lately. I feel so helpless when it comes to parenting her. She is extremely needy of my attention. She requires sooo much, it's exhausting. She's dramatic and a lot of times just plain mean. She has been fighting with Makayla constantly and blowing up over every little thing. {Makayla knows just how to push her buttons too, she not just an innocent by-stander most of the time} I feel like we WORK with her and WORK with her and nothing improves. It is really testing my patience. But she has these glimpses, these moments of GREATNESS. Where she is the sweetest most thoughtful child you'll ever meet. She is truly Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Hyde! Sunday was an extremely LONG day and it ended with her being grounded today {Monday} Which is also SEP's so she has NO SCHOOL. So, really, this is a punishment for me. She has been following me around every where I go ALL MORNING. Until I finally had to tell her to STOP! She is looking to me to entertain her all day.

I just wish someone could tell me how to parent her correctly, because more than anything I fear that I'm just plain messing her up! She thrives on positive reinforcement, but when she is having one of "her" days, it's really hard to find anything positive to say!

I'm exhausted...can you tell. I have had Harvey sleeping by my side the last three nights and that makes for not much sleep. Then spending all day refereeing two fighting girls leaves for one TIRED and ORNERY mom!

Yesterday on the way to RJ's parents for dinner I said "Dag Nammit" {can't remember why} Abbey yelled back at me, "Mom, don't say dammit. It's a swearword!"
Yes it is {and one I never say!!}

At dinner she told RJ's parents and his grandparents that I always say, "Oh my Lord!" {Which I don't...ever!} She was very persistent. I wanted to scream. I had so had enough yesterday. And it was embarrassing.

Makayla hasn't had as many fits lately. Which has been refreshing. But she will just straight up tell you "NO" and refuse to do what you ask. {or just ignore you completely}
BUT she will Play and Play in "Makayla world" For hours and entertain herself. Most days she just makes us laugh.

So all in all. I'm tired. I'm stressed. And I'm feeling very inadequate. The fact that I am supposed to be raising these three children is starting to freak me out. They are barely getting their  basic needs met let alone getting fed spiritually, mentally, and physically. I know that this is Satan's work, that he knows if he gets to the mother he wins. I know I shouldn't let myself have these thoughts, but it is OH SO HARD not to. It's an overwhelming task and a HUGE responsibility. And right now, I'm not so sure I'm up for the task!